I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
