ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
