Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
