her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
