Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
