She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
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