She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Randomize
