worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
should my penis look like a turkey
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
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