How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Randomize
