her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
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