Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Randomize
