Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
