This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
How does one acquire holy water?
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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