3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
