Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize
