come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
