i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
You were trust falling into bushes
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
