fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Randomize
