sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
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