"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
