I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
