Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
