How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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