well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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