3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Randomize
