i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
