do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
