Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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