soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Too much gin, very little bucket
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
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