physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
