It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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