Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
That was before I lit my hair on fire
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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