My entire life is one complicated drinking game
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
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