And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
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