She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
