just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
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