am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
