The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
