I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
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