Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
