So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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