i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
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