I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
cat food counts as protein by the way
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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