Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
