K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
