you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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