Dual....:-)
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
All I want is dick and wine.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
