Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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