so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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