Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
