my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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