I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
