Jerry, you need to find god
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
