just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
