is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
