omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
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