if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Randomize