38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Randomize
