don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
