If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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