Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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